ANDY FISH

ANDY FISH is a comic book artist


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Thursday, December 30, 2010

Shopping


I don't know where my intense hatred of shopping comes from-- maybe as a kid I was scared by a sales lady at Lerners Clothing store or maybe Capitol Toys ran out of Batman masks and I was permanently scarred.  No matter the root cause the effect is that I HATE shopping.

Even in stores I want to be in, where I've somehow volunteered to go-- within ten minutes I am ready to leave-- in fact I'm ready to hurl myself through the front display window like Bruce Willis in DIE HARD chasing after Hans Grubber.  Something snaps inside me and I just want to get out of there.

I think the problem lies in my version of shopping.  I don't like to browse.  I like to know what I'm looking for before I get there and then even when I do browse it's more akin to a search plane with low fuel cruising the area of a ship wreck-- low and fast-- a quick look and then back to base.

I don't like chatty cashiers-- in fact just say hello, ring me out and toss it in a bag.  Don't ask me for my phone number, zip code or if I want to open a charge card.

"Would you like to donate a dollar for a Sun Tree For Cancer?" they will ask on occasion to which I will reply:

"No thanks, I'm against cancer."

I do plenty of donating-- checkout time is not the time to hit me up.

Online shopping has been a huge relief to me-- although I've yet to have any success buying clothes online-- for that I usually hit a store at 9am on a Tuesday morning-- usually very quiet and easy in and out.